Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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