Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
soo... how was my night?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
