I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
