Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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