literally had 100 drinks last night.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
