I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
