If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
