I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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