I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize
