dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
