I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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