party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
