If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
