Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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