i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
