on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Ketchup is God's man juice
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
