it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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