is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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