is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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