No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
