i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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