Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
