I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
