I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
