batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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