I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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