It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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