About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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