idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
