Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's never too late to be topless.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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