in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
