I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
