Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
