I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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