ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
last night I used snow as a chaser
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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