That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
