My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
