So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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