In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
