hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
