Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
