I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
