God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
