A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
