Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
