if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
