I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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