Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
