My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
