I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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