I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
