yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
